Legally Blind Observations |
ONE OF THE FOLLOWING IS PROBABLY WHY YOU'RE HERE (in no particular order): My face and stuff My Amazon wishlist woohoo! Grad school shenanigans Stories from my undergrad days Life in NYC Adventures in gainful employment! My love/hate relationship with Anons If you came to hear me Quotes and Conversations In which I am dead from laughter What I Need in Life (updated as needed) Things that are accurate! Witty Quote Wednesday People that I would maim in the street Pickup Lines So Bad They Must Work Thomas Griffin asks "why?" The Frown-Upside-Down Project (aka Hipster Edits) Waldy's Words of Wisdom Da Serenadin' Da Ladiez List All my lovely angry rants Archive |
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NotesJESUS FUCK THESE ARE THE BEST EVER
FUCKING CRYING
CAN I JUST POINT OUT THAT THIS IS WHAT LIVING WITH KATRINE IS LIKE —katie
OH GOD I CAN’T
(Source: iraffiruse, via liethroughyourteeth)
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this girl’s sense of humor is far ahead of her age
welcome to tumblr, child
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NotesAnd God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, God made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
(via kayteesometimes)
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can this sexy potato get 1000 notes?
REAL potatoes don’t dress like whores and have self respect. cover up hun(:
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Notes Playing With TelemarketersI was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang. ME: Hello. AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T. ME: Is this AT&T. AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ... ME: This is AT&T. AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ... ME: Is this AT&T.? AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron, please? ME: May I ask who is calling? AT&T: This is AT&T. ME: OK, hold on. At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting. ME: Hello? AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron? ME: May I ask who is calling, please? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ... ME: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ... ME: The phone company. AT&T: Yes, sir. ME: I thought you said this was AT&T. AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company. ME: I already have a phone. AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day? AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day! ME: 7 days a week.? AT&T: That's right. ME: 365 days a year.? AT&T: Yes, sir. ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing! AT&T: We think so! ME: That's quite a sum of money! AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up. ME: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance? AT&T: Excuse me? ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute. AT&T: What are you talking about? ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment. AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute. ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know. AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please? AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary. ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor! AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold. At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner. SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron? ME: Yeah. SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program. ME: Is This A T &T? SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is. ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be Careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan. SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you. ME: Thank you. I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone. AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.? ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother... AT&T: click........ -
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Notessometimes I brush my shoulders off even when I’m not feeling like a pimp
I hope Jay-Z would not get angry at me if he knew
(Source: itsvondell, via harrattanparhar)
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manifestdestiny1839 replied to your post: Damn son this may be the first summer I dont have…
this is a...
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I have butter pecan ice cream and netflix tonight is the shit <3
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My Velma Cosplay!
adorable!
Unf.
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Hey, if you don’t like what I post, don’t look at my blog.
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It's not delivery
It’s a porno
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OH LAWWWDY, is what Huck Finn would say.
I am merely minutes into The Last Of Us, and I am so into it, and I AM SO ABSORBED into this fiction... -
We have achieved maximum babe
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i put those behind read mores because since i’ve gotten way more followers who i know nothing about/dont talk to me id hate to have to verbally rip...
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man only on tumblr will idiots sit here and unquestioningly reblog posts like “enter ur pin backwards to call de cops” or “hey look ur eyes can be...
