Legally Blind Observations

iqdni99a asked: YO youtube tipsybartender this nigga will take our fuck with candy alcohol game to a whole new level

I’m so ready

legallyblindobservations:

I need to find a bar in the city where I can walk in there in a suit and pretend to be more important than I am. 

Too bad that isn’t a category on Yelp or Google Maps

I’ve used Tumblr user thatschnizisdeloycious’s advice of looking at the pricier places on Yelp and have decided that this is going to happen at some point. Probably in the fall, when I’m not going to die from a heat stroke in a suit. 

Waldy, you should come because booze and suits.

iqdni99a replied to your chat: Me: Damn, why is this Asian guy so dangerous?Me:…

That was officially the most horrible thing I have ever read you say. If I were in the vicinity, I would leave the dwelling fall on my knees in the street and beg god for mercy on my soul.

iqdni99a replied to your photo: Your boys a gotdamn culinary genius. Fuck with me

nigga you cant see me on the pancake game and you know them hoe ass niggas called me waffles in college. anyways wish mama duran a happy mothers day for me.

Son my waffle game immaculate, got that spinny rotatey waffle maker son ain’t nobody fuckin with me. And yeah they did hahaha. Fuckin’ Layne. And gotchoo. Tell Litza happy mother’s day even though she’s not actually a mom but she was basically my second mom out there ya dig

harlold:

this is literally my favorite video

Waldy and I did this on Long Island (a year before this video was posted, mind you), and some kid heard the shots and dived on the sidewalk behind a mailbox

(via lncome)

iqdni99a replied to your post: iqdni99a replied to your post: So I got…

The right timing you would have been an unknown assailant but Im glad you kept your composure. Im honestly surprised it wasnt the time your attack instincts saved your life. Or eyes in this case.

Same here. I dunno. I’m still pissed about it. Like I know for a fact if he would’ve pulled an actual weapon like a knife or something I would’ve went into autopilot and he’d have been hurt, bad. Not to downplay mace because if he would’ve sprayed me then I obviously would’ve been fucked, but I guess I was surprised that this big dude (he was like 5’5” 250 or so) pulled out a little can of mace instead of a knife or something, y’know? How the hell do you look being big as shit and pulling out mace, c’mon son. 

iqdni99a replied to your post: So I got threatened with mace on my way to work today

Nigga the only thing I can picture is me watching you break that bitch in half as the bing boong on the trains go off on world star hip hop

The thought crossed my mind. I’m telling you man, I was angrier in that one moment than I’ve ever been in my ENTIRE LIFE. It felt like a matter of inches, like if his hand would’ve come any closer to my face I would’ve snapped. I realize this all sounds like some after the fact thug shit but like… I dunno man. In a parallel universe that guy is severely broken, his kid is traumatized, and I’m in jail.

I need my own place. Even if (worst case scenario) it’s just me rollin solo out in some studio someplace, I need to get my own place and cement my grown man can’t tell me shit-ness. Hopefully though my brudda Waldy gets his shit right and we can ball the fuck out somewhere on some Team Double W shit and be bueno. Rollin with two Xboxes. Madness

Y’all should go say happy birthday to Waldy on account of the fact that it’s his birthday and he’s put up with me for the majority of the last five years. 

iqdni99a replied to your quote: They call me Mr. Roll Ya Girls Burrito.

Leave all that coon shit at the door when you make my burrito.

Hahahahahahahahahaha

iqdni99a replied to your post: I dunno why but my lower back has been KILLIN me…

gettin old nigga

Hahaha. Two kinds of people, clearly

Yo last night was wild on the Internet haha. Singing to random white chicks on Omegle, a whole Chatroulette session without seeing a single dick, talking to some random in North Carolina who was CONVINCED Waldy and I were from YouTube, and sharing the majesty of Jolly Ranchers with innocent college freshmen chicks. College graduates, passing on college ingenuity to the next incoming class. It’s providence.

I also apparently am betrothed to Waldy’s girlfriend’s friend, whom I’ve never met but apparently is perfect for me? Cool haha

Outchea on the island with my main homey/brother Waldy, gettin ready to fuck shit up with some booze and pizza and Halo fuck wit us

And then there’s Waldy. Hahahaha

iqdni99a asked: You are a bitch ass nigga but you my homie even though you soft. Oh right this is supposed to be anonymous. Fuck it I do what I want.