Legally Blind Observations
Damn near blind with shit brown eyes. I think I do all right.
LINKS AND TAGS (in no particular order):
Dat tagged/me doe
Grad school shenanigans
Stories from my undergrad days
Life in NYC
Operation: Get Me the Fuck Up Outta Here 1.0, 2.0, and 3.0
Adventures in gainful employment!
My love/hate relationship with Anons
How to be a Successful New Yorker
If you came to hear me
Things Thought Up by Lunatic Geniuses
Quotes and Conversations
In which I am dead from laughter
What I Need in Life (updated as needed)
Things that are accurate!
Witty Quote Wednesday
People that I would maim in the street
Pickup Lines So Bad They Must Work
Thomas Griffin asks "why?"
The Frown-Upside-Down Project (aka Hipster Edits)
Waldy's Words of Wisdom
Da Serenadin' Da Ladiez List
All my lovely angry rants
At 7:35 A.M, you lay your tired body on mine
before peeling off, like a slow band-aid.
At 8:40 you sprint home and make instant coffee.
At 9:45 we finally drink it, cold.
I finish your leftover half.
By 10:50 you are already breathless.
I live for every time we overlap.
When 11:55 comes I spend the entire minute convincing you to stay.
You never do.
By noon I put my hands on your shoulders and say, “Baby,
you’re getting thin. All this running in circles and barely sitting down to eat.”
At 1:05 you tell me that while you were gone,
15,300 babies were born.
At 2:10 you don’t say a word,
just come in and kiss me for sixty seconds straight.
At 3:15 we sit quiet, listening to rain falling everywhere
in the world at once: all 15,000 tons.
At 4:20 we pull a little from the tight joint I keep behind your ear.
You do not inhale.
At 5:25 you meet me for happy hour.
My neck already salted, a lime wedged in my teeth,
a shot of tequila sitting on the bar.
At 6:30 I hear the ticking.
I count your heartbeat like seconds between thunderclaps.
By 7:35 I can see you in the distance,
each second a tease until you drape over me.
We always love quick and you never let me hold you.
I dream of drinking you through a straw.
At 8:40 you watch my beard grow 0.00027 of an inch.
At 9:45 we do not speak.
Too many people have died since we last met.
At 10:50 we pray for a meteor,
at least a clumsy kid to spill sugar in our gears.
11:55 is my favorite.
We’re only apart for mere minutes.
But at midnight you’ll apologize sixty times
because it will always be like this.
At 1:04 AM I am already sleeping.
It’s exhausting loving someone
who is constantly running away.
Nights like tonight really remind me of how badly I want to move into my own place and make a new home for myself.
My mother just yelled something to me from the other room that I didn’t quite understand; I yelled back what I think I heard her say: “Did you just...
- wash dishes
- clean my room (find where those fucking ants are coming from)
- purchase tickets to the As...
The ONLY reason a show like Big Bang Theory wins awards is because of it’s viewership. It has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of comedy....
summer after graduating college, or as i like to call it: “getting drunk on weeknights”